The Background
I can use two fingers to count how many foods Will dislikes. As he would have you know, he came from parents who practised no-nonsense parenting. He was forced to eat everything and as a result he will eat anything. He is so easygoing about his likes and dislikes that he will defer to me when it comes to how he likes his food. If I am putting Parmesan cheese on my pasta, he will ask for it too, but if I am not, oh well, he won't either.
I on the other hand, am more discerning in my tastes, but generally there are only a handful of foods that I absolutely detest, and I will try most things, but this was not always the case. I could not stand asparagus, curry and most types of seafood until I became an adult, and now I love, love, love them.
My children are complete opposites to one another.
MasterSeven, after having been deprived of a lot of foods due to his former allergy to milk and egg products, will try anything. I can't think of anything he really doesn't like. He loves olives, pickles, seafood, blue cheese, pate and in general, foods you would associate as being 'grown-up' foods.
MasterFive is picky. One day he will like a food and devour it promptly, and the next time I cook it, he will say he doesn't like it. He detests mushrooms (and gags on them), he can't stand the more exotic seafoods, such as mussels and he's not a true Aussie, because he has decided he no longer likes prawns. Bok choy, capsicum and sometimes zucchini are not his favourites.
They both LOVE broccoli however, go figure.
What We Want
I think I speak for most parents when I say that what we want for our children is this:
- We want them to get a variety of nutrients from a variety of foods.
- We want them to enjoy healthy foods and not just the junk.
- We want them to savour their food and enjoy trying new things.
- We want them to be welcome in other people's homes, because they know how to behave when faced with a food that doesn't appeal to their palates.
- When we have spent most of the afternoon slaving over a new recipe, we would love for the effort to be appreciated by each and every member of the family.
The Obstacles
Well, children have their own idea of what they think should happen at mealtimes:
- Some (most) would prefer to eat junk than that meal you slaved over.
- Some won't eat a morsel of the food on their plates, but the minute it is not mealtime, they are hoovering up everything within a 10km radius.
- Some won't eat off their own plates; they want to eat off yours.
- Some find the texture and the taste of some foods so revolting that they will regurgitate said food for your viewing pleasure.
- Some will eat nothing but Vegemite sandwiches, and I mean nothing.
- Some won't eat mushrooms in a stir-fry but will eat it as mushroom sauce on pork chops.
- And I am sure that my readers could add many more to this list...
The Approach
So here's the tricky bit. How do we get to 'What We Want' and bypass 'The Obstacles' yet still keep our sanity?
If you asked Will, he would be prefer to be standing on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise saying "Make it so." He has a lot to say about how soft I am on the kids when it comes to this issue, but I think he recognises that the autocratic way takes a lot of energy and saps the enjoyment out of mealtime, so he tends to let me give my approach a whirl.
The approach I have takes into account something I read somewhere that children have thousands more taste buds than grown-ups, and that our sense of taste dulls over time. This is said to be why children have a harder time with more adult flavours (MasterSeven disproves this theory, but never mind that), because they can taste them exponentially more than we can. This makes a lot of sense to me, so I try to implement the following rules:
- When it comes to newly introduced foods, you have to try it before you say you don't like it. If you don't like it the first time, you don't have to eat it, but I'd like you to try it again on another occasion, because you might change your mind.
- When you are at someone else's house and you are faced with a food on your plate that you really hate, then I want you to discreetly put that food to the side of your plate without making a big song and dance about it.
- BUT, if I have slaved over a hot stove making this food for you and the last time I made it for you, you gobbled it up, but you have since decided that you no longer like it, TOO BAD, you are going to sit and eat it if it takes all night, and if you don't eat it tonight is will be waiting for you in the morning for breakfast, and you are going to like it. Do you know why? Because there are starving children all over the world and you just don't know how lucky you are...!
'Food For Thought'
When we were fleeing from Cyclone Yasi, we brought a limited amount food with us to the evacuation centre. By the time nightfall came, the kids were pretty hungry with having only had crackers and muesli bars, so when I opened a cold can of spaghetti, I had to fight them off to make sure everyone got some. If you had offered them a cold can of spaghetti normally, you can bet noses would be turned up.
So is the solution to make sure that no snacks are had between meal times? That's what our parents did for us, and we survived it, but with childhood obesity becoming an increasing problem, isn't it better to allow them to eat smaller amounts throughout the day?
Which is your approach? Are you the autocrat or the diplomat, or somewhere in between?
Some Related Links
Here are some other excellent posts on this topic:
Marita at Stuff With Thing shares a great post on how to put some fun in the meal and still get around a fussy eater or two.
Donna at Nappy Daze talks about a Fussy Eaters seminar she attended and her mealtime trials and tribulations with her toddler. See? This is such an issue, they hold seminars about it!
Kellie's husband, Julian, over at Three Li'l Princesses tells us about one time when trying to disguise the veggies in the food just didn't work.
Susan at Reading Updside Down has kindly suggested the book More Peas Please from Kate di Prima and Dr Julie Chichero.
Rachel at Because I said so! also shares a creative way to make food fun for fussy eaters.
Donna at Nappy Daze talks about a Fussy Eaters seminar she attended and her mealtime trials and tribulations with her toddler. See? This is such an issue, they hold seminars about it!
Kellie's husband, Julian, over at Three Li'l Princesses tells us about one time when trying to disguise the veggies in the food just didn't work.
Susan at Reading Updside Down has kindly suggested the book More Peas Please from Kate di Prima and Dr Julie Chichero.
Rachel at Because I said so! also shares a creative way to make food fun for fussy eaters.
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