The Return of the Table Manner Tyrant

Now that the children are getting a bit older, I have been focussing on their table manners more than before. Piggies at the table makes my blood boil, and I come by it honestly. I have mentioned before how my dad was a stickler for table manners. I have previously referred to him as the Table Manner Nazi, but I now prefer the Table Manner Tyrant. If Dad were here today, I think he would get a kick out of the moniker, either that or he would rap my knuckles with his fork. Growing up, we kids all lived in fear of the fork; those were different times, the 70s.

Here are just a few of the rules to which we had to strictly adhere:

1. Take small bites
2. Chew your food 26 times
3. Hold your fork like a pencil not a spade
4. Eat every food on your plate, taking it in turns
5. Elbows off the table
6. When you are not cutting your meat, your other hand is at your side
7. Finish what's in your mouth before putting more in, even better...
8. Wait until you are finished what's in your mouth before loading up your fork with the next mouthful, and...
9. If you can't remember that, put your fork down between each bite
10. Use your knife to push food onto your fork, not your thumb
11. Don't lick your knife
12. Chew with your mouth closed
13. Don't talk with your mouth full
14. Don't gulp your drink
15. Don't slurp your drink
16. Twist the spaghetti onto a fork, don't suck it up
17. When you get to the bottom of your milk shake and the straw starts to make a slurping sound, stop drinking, it is done
18. No singing at the table
19. No playing with your food
20. Sit still
21. Sit on your seat properly
22. Eat over your plate
23. Don't drink the last of your milk in your cereal bowl, use your spoon (I am not great at enforcing this one purely because of my impatience to get on the road of a morning), and...
24. Don't fill your spoon so much that the milk all dribbles off
25. Sit close to the table
26. With regards to cutlery, start from the outside and work your way in
27. You have to try it before you say you don't like it
28. You don't have to finish everything on your plate, but don't take more than you can eat, and see rule #4

So you can see why I am probably a good candidate for therapy? The really crazy thing is that now that I am a parent, each and every one of those rules makes sense to me. Of course, I am not trying to teach the kids every rule all at once, but I am certainly trying to get some of these across to them. They don't have to live in fear of the fork, but they do have to live in fear of the the Evil Eye, the stern voice and the poke-y finger.

What are your views on table manners? Are these rules OTT or do you think they have value? Do you enforce some of these rules in your home? At what age do you think it is time to start cracking down on poor table manners? 

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